Mother's Day has never really been that difficult for me. I suppose that since I have never experienced pregnancy or motherhood, I just don't really associate that day with my loss. To me Mother's Day is about my own mother and mother-in-law, not about the children we can't seem to have. This year, I was a little worried that distinction might change for me. Our sensitivity and emotions have been heightened this year due to our IVF failure, so I just wasn't sure how this day was going to go for me emotionally. As it turns out, Mother's Day went pretty well for me, filled with a great Sunday service and a yummy afternoon lunch with my mom.
It was later that evening that I realized that I AM a mother, just not to a human. Lucy (our great dane) has been having some allergy problems. Oddly enough on Mother's Day she broke out in hives all over her body. Her face started swelling with gigantic cyst-like bumps all over her face. Ever seen the movie Hitch? After the swelling started going down, she started throwing up. And that did not stop for 2 days. So Mother's Day night I slept a total of 3 hours, the rest of the time I spent taking her outside, cleaning up messes and trying to get her to stay hydrated. She seems to be doing better now. And as tired as I am, I am thankful for this big dog. She needs me sometimes, and its nice to be needed occasionally. I think she's probably making us into better parents while we wait for God to bring us our human babies!
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