34 weeks!

I can't believe it.  We're rounding the last corner.  In 3 weeks, we'll be full term, and hopefully we'll be meeting our baby within the next 6.  I am still feeling pretty good most days.  I am actually feeling alot better now that I am no longer temping, and I can go for walks with Lucy during the day.  The only issues I am still having are breathing and eating.  My eyes seem to be bigger than my stomach these days, so after eating, I just feel uncomfortable and out of breath.  I am holding steady at 37 pounds of weight gain.  Really hoping not to pass the 40 lb mark, but with 6 weeks to go, I would say its pretty likely.   OH and the other not so fun thing is that each new day seems to add another itchy, slightly painful stretch mark.  Shout out to my mom for passing on the stretch mark gene!

Today I had my 34 week appointment.  It was the last of the 2 week appointments.  I go in again at 36 weeks for the start of my weekly checks.  At our next appointment, our midwife will begin checking the baby's position, head position, and for any dilation of my cervix.  She said she would even begin giving us her predictions as to whether I would deliver early, late or on time based on all the things she checks.  Of course, I am not going to bank much on her predictions, because everyone I know that was told they were sure to deliver "any day" ended up being at least a week late!  No reason to get my hopes up.

We start our childbirth classes next week.  Unfortunately, Craig is missing the first one.  Boo.  But he's getting to go to his sister's graduation, and the doula/childbirth instructor has assured me that most of the first class is introductory anyway.  Plus, she's going to do a make up session with him to make sure we both have the information we need.  I am a little nervous about starting our classes so late, but at the same time I think it will be good to have the information fresh in our minds when the labor process actually starts.

Have I mentioned that we're moving 12 days before my due date? I tell ya, we're just full of surprises.  Sometimes I sit back and wonder if this is really MY life... being kind of a Type A persona and all.  Surprise pregnancy, Gender surprise, last minute move, still no final decisions on baby name, last minute child birth classes, and hopefully even a spontaneous, natural delivery.  Who am I these days?  Being the planner and organizer, I am kind of not recognizing myself right now.  I have to blame my "go with the flow" husband for stretching me!  But I'll be the first to admit that some of this stretching has brought me to my breaking point a couple of times.   Even still, we're managing.  And we couldn't be more EXCITED!

Sleep...how I miss you

Everyone tells you that once you're pregnant, you need to get as much sleep as you possibly can.  They are always telling me "Girl, sleep in!,"  "Enjoy your day off", "Take lots of naps," etc.  I have yet to understand how one does this in their third trimester.  I have always loved LOVED sleep.  I could easily wake up during the night and fall right back to sleep, and I took every oppurtunity to sleep in that I could.  But now I dread it.  As tired as I am every evening, I dread heading to bed.

I definitely believe the statements that your nasal passages swell during pregnancy, because I can actually HEAR myself breathe throughout the day, and Craig says the snoring is out of control!

More recently though, I have felt as if my lungs are half the size they used to be.  I am not a fan of sinus problems or colds.  I would rather be throwing up over a toilet than have a stuffy nose.  I know it sounds weird, but I think its the claustrophobic feeling I get from not being able to breath well, that just absolutely unnerves me.  So, this is going to be one I really have to pray through at the end of this pregnancy.  I think the baby is sitting somewhat high, thus pushing all my innards into my chest and causing me difficulty in taking deep breaths.  Its a little more intense at night, so I am trying to do as much sleeping sitting up as I can.  Otherwise, I just feel like I am going to hyperventilate.  Sometimes, the baby will moved and I feel a little more relief, but mostly I just have to pray that I don't think about it and can fall asleep.

It's strange.  My first two trimesters were super easy.  Few, if any, complaints.  I even stated to Craig on numerous occasions that it was going by all too fast! (I think maybe as one who has experienced a long, difficult journey to pregnancy, I am all too aware that this might be our ONLY pregnancy, so I want toenjoy every second of it.)  I never really understood why women were so ready to be "un-pregnant" and had a running list of complaints and frustrations.  Well...now I get it.  I still want to soak in every moment, and I still am thankful for each and every pregnancy ailment or issue.  But I am most certainly praising Jesus for His Mercy in allowing pregnancy to be no more than roughly 40 weeks. Its long enough to feel ready, but short enough to find some relief to all the little irritants that seem to take over ones every day ability to function.  9 weeks to go!

****UPDATE:  Apparently the breathing problem is NOT just an evening thing.  Just ate a decent sized lunch, and am now sitting at my desk concentrating on inhaling and exhaling normally.  It's not working!! 

Maternity photos...28 Weeks!

My sister Abby took our maternity photos at 28 weeks.  She just blogged some, so I thought I would copy and put them here as well.  She did a great job, juggling 2 babies, dinner plans, visits with family, and somehow in the middle of that working in a couple of hours to take our pictures.  I didn't put too much thought into what we would wear and we ended up changing locations like 2 or 3 times, but ultimately, I just wanted this phase of our lives documented.  And she did that so well.
This one is definitely going in the nursery!

My 2-3rd trimester craving (well one of them)....DOUBLE STUFF OREOS!OOooooh...look at that double chin!!!  Fabulous!  haha.

Stretch Marks, leg cramps, and other complaints

I have prayed over and over throughout this pregnancy, that I will be able to get through it with minimal complaints.  I am so overjoyed that God has even allowed me the chance to experience this, so it seems like discontentment to whine about discomforts.    However, at the same time, I  want to remember, and I'm afraid I won't.  So, I figure I'll document them, but preface it with "I am so completely humbled and thankful for even these...."

Leg cramps- These started pretty much at week 28.  I had a few before, but they were pretty minor.  But a couple of weeks ago, I woke up SCREAMING in pain.  Of course, poor Craig shot out of bed like a rocket, thinking I was in premature labor or something.  Finally, I managed to work out of my mouth "leg cramp", and he worked for about a minute massaging my left leg.  I have never felt anything like that, and I was surprised it lasted so long.  I am also pretty sure I subtracted one year from my husband's life span with that scream.  Ever since then, I have woken up to the onset of leg cramps, but have found that if I immediately flex my food, they tend to go away.

Back Fat- I have never had the super slim back, but I am AMAZED at where my weight is accumulating these days.  I plan to start doing more pushups and rows in order to keep the back fat down, but seriously??  Why wasn't I told about this?  Maybe its just my body. 

Swollen Feet- I've gotten swollen feet every once in awhile, and they  usually just come at the end of a long day.  But as of week 29, the super swollen feet are here to stay.  My left one is much bigger than my right one (our midwife says its because the heart and aorta are on the left side of the body).  The best way to describe my feet these days is to compare them to Miss Piggy's.  It seriously looks like I am trying to jam a hoof into a tiny slipper, and I tried on some sandles the other day, but couldn't get the straps beyond my toes. 

Going to look for some Tom's today, as my friend told me they stretch and allow the feet to breathe much better.

Stretch Marks-  I knew it.  I knew they were coming.  My mom has them.  My sister has them.  And they both told me they were pretty much inevitable, because they are genetic.  But I refused to believe it.  I stayed well hydrated.  I bought the expensive oil at the maternity store, massaging it all over the growing bump morning and night.  But week 28 I noticed 2-3 purple dots.  I thought it was my imagination, but asked Craig to look.  Yep, the beginning of stretch marks.  I furiously applied more oil to no avail.  Now they are full blown purple streaks up and down my belly.  As of now, they haven't traveled above my belly button, so I am still hopeful. But then again, we still have at least 9 weeks to go.  But I'm still thankful, even if I end up rocking a one piece swimsuit for the rest of my life.  (ahem...there will be no pictures of these...ever.) :)

Spotting...but all is well

Last Tuesday I had some spotting that scared the tar out of me!  Actually, I think Craig was a little more nervous, because I had about 55 texts from him that day asking if I had "called our Midwife yet."   All ended well, I just had some spotting and mild cramping, followed by 2 days of milder baby activity.  I didn't end up going in, because nothing got worse, and the baby was continuing to move.  Guess it was just another one of those millions of tiny veins that happened to burst, perhaps with some extra activity or something. 

It was once again a good reminder of the miracle that is life, that is this pregnancy.  I prayed all last week to be reminded of that, and to be able to rest in the fact that there is no one like our God.  Obviously, I ask for healthy, happy, and safe, but ultimately the Lord knows the plan He has for our baby.

24 week photos!

Week 24.  I cannot believe it.  Its going by way too fast.  Ok slow at times, but fast, because I want to enjoy every single second.  I cannot wait to meet our little one in June.  I cannot wait to know whether we have a son or daughter, but I also want to love every second of this blessing...even the aches and pains.

Twenty-four weeks, also marks "viability," meaning our baby would have a fighting chance if born this early.  Craig says he doesn't like to think about it (it makes him nervous thinking about possible premature birth), but I like thinking that we've actually reached a really important milestone.  Of course we're praying this baby stays put for at least another 13 weeks!

We celebrated by shopping for our nursery.  My parents actually found a great deal on an old dresser, that we'll be refinishing (or having refinished).  Craig and I made some fabric selections for the rocker we plan to re-cover.  And we actually bought two frames for the room.  I am having the hardest time figuring out colors/fabrics.  Those things overwhelm me anyway, but then add the fact that we don't know the gender, don't know where we are going to live, etc. and it becomes even more difficult.  Hopefully it will come together!

I finally rounded up Craig, "sort of" got dressed, and took some pictures this afternoon.  Craig actually learned to shoot into the sun for a little "flare" effect....so proud of my budding photographer.  Just trying to get him ready for taking lots of good photos of our Pumpkin!

Sorry for the squinty scowl...it was so WIIIIINDY!

New Pregnancy Quirk

Other than the 20 lbs I've put on (YES 20!!) and the side ache I get in my rib cage on the right side, I've had only a few pregnancy issues/symptoms/quirks.  No nausea or sickness.  A few food cravings, but nothing weird.  A few weird dreams, but not frequent.  Lately, I've started to a develop a new one.  Snoring.  Seriously, out of all the cute and funny things that people say pregnant women do, I got SNORING.  Poor Craig has been woken up almost every night by my loud ZZZZZzzzz's.  And I have to admit, I wake myself up alot too.  I think some of it may have to do with the dry air, and the fact that no matter how hard I try to sleep on my side, I still somehow wind up on my back throughout the night, AND the fact that I've added a good 20 lbs in body weight.  But I've also read that snoring is not uncommon in pregnancy.  Let's just hope this little quirk doesn't stick around.

Big Kicks

Tomorrow will be 23 weeks, and I can barely believe it!  Time is flying by.  I am feeling the baby move more and more, pretty much ever since our anatomy scan.  I was getting a little anxious about it before the scan, because I just wasn't feeling much at all.  And after the scan showed my placenta was anterior, I was content to wait a couple more weeks for movement.  However, it seems the moment we got home, I've been feeling little kicks and turns ever since.

Last night, I was feeling a little movement, but it was still mostly quiet in there.  Craig decided to put his head on my belly and start talking to the baby.  I think he was making up songs about how he wanted to feel a kick, and I kid you not, Baby D nailed him in the ear.  A little while later, he got a big punch in the cheek.  It was the first time he and I have felt significant kicks or punches at the same time.  Pretty much made our Monday!

Today is Valentines Day, so hopefully Craig will get home early enough to take another picture before we hit 23 weeks. But we don't have any plans tonight, since we're pushing our celebration to the weekend. Maybe we'll get a 22 week photo after all. Even if its not that cute.


In other news, I have started temping for a company, just 3 days a week until May.  So far, its going well, and my biggest crisis is staying busy and figuring out what to wear in the morning.  I thought getting dressed for work was a pain before, its a whole new ball game with nothing fits, and you really don't want to spend money on "work clothes" that can only be worn for a couple of months.

21 week pic

I thought taking "bump" pictures would be much easier and more frequent than they've been.  But Craig is rarely home before the sun has set, and on the days he is, I am usually not in any sort of presentable fashion to take a photo!    But I finally got him to take another one right before we headed out to a Super Bowl party with our home group!  He's getting better and better at learning to use my camera, and I have to really appreciate his posing skills (aka, "turn more this way....or you are gonna hate this picture")  Guess he knows my insecurities all too well! :)

21 weeks!  I have no idea how any more baby is going to fit in there.  And I am only halfway!  Darn short torso!

From adoption talk to......

YEP, we're miraculously pregnant.

NOTE: I am going to just write this journal-style, so I don't forget everything.  You don't have to read it.

Sometime around early October, I started cramping, assuming my cycle was about to start.  I don't remember when my last one was, but I was pretty sure it was around the beginning of September.  The only reason I remember that is that I knew I would be out of town 2 weeks later, and the thought went through my head...."Darn.  If I actually ovulated like a normal girl this month, I won't even be in the same city as Craig!  Oh well."  Obviously, I never ovulate like a normal girl, and even when I have ovulated, we've never gotten pregnant, so it was a fleeting thought.  However, when I was out of town (visiting my parents in Hereford), I remember a pain on my left side, and I also remember thinking...."Of course, the one time I might actually be ovulating on my own, and Craig and I aren't in the same town."

All that to say, once the cramping started a couple weeks later, I was convinced my next cycle was about to start, but it didn't.  

October 8th- Still no period, still cramping, so I took a test just to see.  Test messed up.  Either too much urine or a broken test, but I didn't get a control line in either window, so I threw the test away.  Eight plus hours later, I happened to look in the trash at the test again (no judging), and there were still no control lines (horizontal lines), but there was a vertical line (which would make a + if there had been a control line).  I called for Craig, both of us knowing that since over 8 hours had passed, the test was null and void, but it sure was nice to see the vertical line I always hoped to see.  Craig convinced me to put it out of my head and maybe test again in a few days if my period still hadn't come.  ok.......

October 12th- Still waiting on something to show up, so I decided to do another test just in case, not at all thinking I would see anything.  I was just more annoyed with my cycles, than anything.  Within 20 seconds, I saw that beautiful +- sign I had always hoped to see!  I started crying and praising Jesus right away.  Of course, I could not risk misreading the test, so I hoped in the car, tears still flowing, drove in the pouring rain to Kroger to get a Digital ( you know, the most expensive test in the store that clearly spells out PREGANT or NOT PREGNANT).  I took that test and right away.....PREGNANT.

On the way to Kroger, I was trying to figure out how I was going to rope Craig into lunch or something so I could tell him.  He just happens to call, stating he left his cell phone at home and asking if I could bring it to him at work.  YES, dear, I'd love to!!!  I immediately dug through my drawers to find the little Tennessee Titans onesie I bought over a year and half ago, dreaming of the day I would get to tell my husband our great news.  I had no idea how long that onesie would stay tucked away, but finally I got to pull it out.  I wrapped up those amazing little tests in the onesie and off we went. 

Telling Craig was awesome!  I video'd the whole thing.  His reaction was priceless!  Later that day, I went to see my RE (because I have no OB).  They did blood work to confirm pregnancy.  Let me tell you, there is nothing like waiting for your doctor to call with results from blood work....No matter what its for!  They said my HCG level was 969, so I was definitely pregnant.

October 14th- Second blood test.  HCG level was 2113.  Yay for doubling numbers!

October 20th-  Had our first sonogram.  Saw the Yolk sac, Fetal pole, and possibly/maybe a slight flicker of a heart beat, but it seemed too early to tell.  We are over the moon, but still nervous but hopeful our baby will keep growing.

October 22nd- At my 10 year college reunion, started experiencing spotting.  FREAKING OUT!  Called and spoke to the doctor on call, who was encouraging that since my cramping nor spotting were not intensifying, it was most likely implantation bleeding.  We spent alot of time praying, having friends pray, having strangers pray, and the spotting stopped.  

October 31st- Second sonogram.  Saw a nice strong heartbeat....151 bpm.   It was even better hearing it though!  Yolk sac much smaller, and starting to see the beginnings of a head and body!  Baby looks great!

Here's that video:

I can't really put into words how surreal this feels.  We feel more than blessed, and I think part of that is knowing that we had so little (ok nothing) to do with making this happen.  Our babies are all miracles, whether through adoption, or IVF or a miraculous surprise!  But yet I think with all the appointments, drugs, doctors that were a part of our Infertility treatment, and with all the paperwork and seminars, etc that were soon to be a part of our adoption journey, we can't help but somehow try to take back some of the control in the experience.  Its nice to once again be reminded that I am not in control, no matter how I plan it out.  Ultimately God's blessings are beautifully orchestrated according to his Sovereign plan, and I just get to sit back in awe of them.   That is the command I have been given, but that is also my naturally humbled and thankful response....to worship!  No matter the outcome, no matter the fears, we are so very thankful for these days we have been given with our little baby.  From his earliest days, I want him to know that every single moment of his life is a display of God's glory, God's provision, and God's love for us!